I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize