Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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