I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
