I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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