I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
