I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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