they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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