I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
