Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
