I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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