you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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