I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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