Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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