i don't like sucking hair
another moral hangover. fuck.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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