'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
