Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
