My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Randomize
