If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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