I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
