my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize