Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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