Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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