Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
