There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize