sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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