So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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