I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize