How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
