My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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