Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
