I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
