I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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