Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
