shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
