Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.

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  (918): I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did. http://tfl.nu/i39w
  Replies (13) Good night (3102) Bad night (1422)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work

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  (201): I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work http://tfl.nu/3682
  Replies (16) Good night (3416) Bad night (1152)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.

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  (206): Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive. http://tfl.nu/785o
  Replies (8) Good night (4685) Bad night (1067)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was like getting a handjob from robocop

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  (412): it was like getting a handjob from robocop http://tfl.nu/4yuu
  Replies (15) Good night (1073) Bad night (4174)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  It was just a squirrel

  (253): View more from Washington

  You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar

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  (406): It was just a squirrel (253): You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar http://tfl.nu/smls
  Replies (12) Good night (5924) Bad night (1165)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.

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  (316): If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already. http://tfl.nu/vt4q
  Replies (13) Good night (2941) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.

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  (661): The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me. http://tfl.nu/fztu
  Replies (6) Good night (2281) Bad night (829)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...

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  (757): i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ... http://tfl.nu/nc8q
  Replies (19) Good night (2221) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.

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  (805): I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights. http://tfl.nu/b17v
  Replies (3) Good night (1139) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.

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  (250): WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME. http://tfl.nu/12ba
  Replies (7) Good night (676) Bad night (1474)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.

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  (562): Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers. http://tfl.nu/434l
  Replies (2) Good night (951) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning

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  (760): And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning http://tfl.nu/27ss
  Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.

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  (515): They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then. http://tfl.nu/zjn9
  Replies (1) Good night (518) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.

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  (619): I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you. http://tfl.nu/28jb
  Replies (0) Good night (345) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder

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  (586): This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder http://tfl.nu/va12
  Replies (2) Good night (250) Bad night (389)

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