I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
