i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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