How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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