His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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