He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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