My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
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