her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
