69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
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