every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
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you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
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It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm really busy with my period
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