I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
