Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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