i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
