The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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