i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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