ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I am available for nakedness
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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