She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
