oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
