I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
