I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
