he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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