she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
