I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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