we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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